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| Merry Christmas everyone!! I hope Christmas was a good time for all of you. Mine was pretty good. I got to see almost all of my family for the first Christmas ever. I got a lot of really nice stuff to help me get ready for college. My Mom got me a digital camera with a docking station. I love it so much. I am so excited to finally be able to take my own pictures. Those of you with facebook look out i'll have lots of new pix. My Granny got me the coat and gloves that I really wanted. My coat is white, and it is filled with down. It's so warm I love it. Then she wanted to get my gloves to go with it so she got me orange. It's so cute. My Daddy got me my lap top. It's pretty cool. I am kinda in shock from all of the stuff I got because I wasn't expecting that much, and I got a lot of really nice stuff. My family is amazing!! Well break is passing pretty quickly. I'm pretty sad that Jessica isn't coming home. I was so excited to see her. I hope I can work it out to go see her over break. I don't know how but I will find a way. Well I'm getting pretty hungry so I'm gonna go get food, but you people call me so we can hang out!! I get home on Thursday, and I have nothing to do the rest of break. I love you all, and I hope everyone is enjoying thier break!! HALF WAY DONE 5 MONTHS AND WE'RE DONE!!! | | |
| I've been so different the past couple of months. I know I have been, but I don't know why. Thinkgs have been going very wrong, and I try to see the positive things that come from all of the bad, but I still get really sad. I have been so stressed dealing with family problems, and friend problems, and just everything. I find it funny how people are so willing to be there for you when things are perfect. They listen when it's just something little going wrong, but when it's something big. Something that changes your entire life, they don't even notice your there. People say that you're their best friend and that they love you, but when you need them the most they turn their back. I have some really awesome friends, and over the past couple of months I have realized some of the people I thought were really good friends aren't as good as I thought they were. I have basically two best friends Drew, and Kristen. I don't know what I would do without them. Tanner you're a really good freind too. I love you guys so much. I would prolly fall off the edge if I didn't have you guys. I love you so much. Ok so that was my vent for the next couple months! Love ya'll | | |
| I read my last post, and realized how much has changed. It doesn't matter to me anymore what the people I used to hang out with think or do. All I care about are my true friends. The ones who stuck by me through the hardest thing I've lived through in my short life. For those of you who don't know my baby cousin Josh was killed in a car accident at the young age of 16 on September 29. I can remember everything about that day. It is strange to look back and see how caught up in petty teenage drama I was. I was worried about making so many people happy. I was trying so hard to make Weston happy, and for what? I don't know. I was worried about keeping my parents, friends, and especially Weston happy. I was running around taking people everywhere in an attempt to make everyone happy. I was putting everyone elses needs before mine, and wasn't even doing what I needed for myself. My life was basically to please people, and it was tearing me apart. I didn't talk to my friends, and I wasn't really there for them. I don't know what happened, but I wasn't myself. I know a lot of it was Weston. I love him so much, and it hurts to know that he doesn't love me the way I love him. I don't know if he ever did. Though things have changed now I still love him, and it still hurts to think that he doesn't love me back. It hurts that I do so much for him, and he turns around and treats me like crap. Anyways, I can remember finding out about the accident and not know what to feel. I was being told so many things, and surrounded by so many people that I didn't know what to think. I wanted one specific person to be there, but didn't know how to ask so I just stood there with three of my best friends. I love Amanda Jessica and Beth so much. They stood by my side the entire night, but there was still someone I wanted more than anything to be there. Eventually Amanda said I'm gonna go find Weston. I felt somewhat relieve as he walked up to me, and put his arms around me. Those arms that had loved me. Thsoe arms that had on so many occasions wraped around me to tell me everything was going to be all right. Those arms that wrapped around me and told me I will be here for you no matter what because I love you. I didn't need the words all I needed were those arms to wrap around me for me to feel secure. Even though things had changed that night I felt the same as I did so many nights before. I felt like with him I could do anything. I had other friends with me off and on that weekend, but he stuck by me the whole weekend. I love him so much, and I don't think he will ever know how much that weekend meant to me. It showed me that he did still care. We fight a lot, and there's a lot of times when I feel like he is using me, but I just try to think about that weekend when he proved that he still loved me. This post was not supposed to be about Weston, but that's just what came out. I don't know where all of that stuff came from, it jsut came. The fact is things about Weston aren't the only thiings that I learned, in fact it's probably the smallest thing. From this I learned that the things you don't think will ever happen to my family will. Bad things can happen to anybody. God has a plan, and it doesn't always coincide with our plans. Probably the most important thing I learned was to live everyday as if it were your last because it might be, and tell people if you love them because you don't want to have regrets. I LOVE YOU ALL!! | | |
| I hate feeling like this. I've always felt like I had somewhere where I belonged. I always felt like I fit in somewhere. Well latly I don't feel that way anymore. I feel like I've lost a lot of people this year that, in the past, were very close to me. People that I have loved, and cared about so much I would give anything for them have pushed me aside. Now I feel so lost. Like I don't know where i fit in. It's foreign to me, and I don't know how to deal with it. So I become introverted, and hostile. It's a last resort to make it through this year alone. I don't want to get close to anyone else because I know in a year everyone is going to go separate ways. I have my few friends that might stick with me....I sure hope they do. This year is supposed to be crazy and fun, and I dred every new day. I look at everyday as just one step closer to graduation. The sad thing is, the people that this is about won't even read this so it is almost pointless putting it on here, but this is the only way I can get this stuff out. I love those of you who have stuck by me, and I'm sorry for being different. I'm just trying to find who I am again, and it's not fun. I want to be a part of something, and I feel like I lost that. Love You All Mal | | |
| I'm at Dads for one day!! OMG my mom is bein dumb!! I guess it's all good Ashley is here, and Weston is coming over tomorrow. Weston has a cell now!! I am way excited cuz now we can talk whenever we want, and I can leave him messages and whatnot!! I am way excited...that boy needed a phone!! I guess it's kinda a bitter sweet thing cuz his mom used to call me to talk to him, and then I would get to talk to her, but I guess it's ok!! Well...nothing to exciting is going on...i get my sr. pix in a week but that is about all!! Leave me comments Love ya! | | |
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